Always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

At the Wedding Rehearsal/Dinner

It has officially been a year and I cannot believe how fast time has flown by over the last 365 days. The weekend was pretty rough, I hate to get hung up on the idea of being "extra" sad because it is the year anniversary, however, I think that it finally sunk in this weekend, causing me to experience an extreme feeling of sadness and loss. We had a very eventful weekend, which was good and bad. It was good because it allowed me to ease my mind and stay busy, it was bad because there were so many things that happened that reminded me of you. Friday and Saturday was tied up with Kir and Mike's wedding stuff. We spent the first part of the weekend at Kelly's Ford, 500 acres of country land(absolutely beautiful out there), spending time with Nate and Sim, attending the rehearsal/dinner, attending the wedding and just hanging out. It was such a gorgeous ceremony and a fun reception. I will admit though, it tore me up to see Kirsten and her dad walk down the aisle, do their father/daughter dance (it was to Tiny Dancer, so sweet) and watch Paul (her dad) give his speech at the reception. It took all that I had to fight back the tears during all of that, I was so happy for Kirsten, however, I couldn’t help think about how I will never have that, I will never have a dad to walk me down the aisle. It sucks. All that being said, at the end of the day there is really nothing I can do about it, thus I try very hard not to let it get to me too much, but it still bothers me from time to time.  The wedding took us into Sunday, which was another eventful day as well. We picked Jeff up from the metro station in Springfield and went over to the house to have a BBQ for Memorial Day.

That was such a great day and everyone there was thinking of you. Mike, Justin's dad rode his Harley all the way from Ohio, just to partake in Rolling Thunder that weekend. Can you believe that mom went down into DC on the bike with him? In all that traffic? Yeah, I was pretty shocked/impressed myself! She did it in honor and memory of you. Blair and Justin rode the metro downtown so they could see them riding in and once all of them returned we set up for a BBQ. It was a fun evening, I was happy that Mom had plenty of friends and family around to ease the pain and fill the void. Blair, Mom and I are very fortunate to have such a close group of friends/family, it makes the holidays and special occasions much more bearable.

One of the coolest things from that day had to be a butterfly (or moth, not sure what it was) that had landed and stayed put on the doorway to your bedroom. It sat up there all day. We all tried to blow on it to make it fall or fly away and despite the BBQ breath and big blows of hot air, the little thing held on tight. It was fighting so hard to not flutter away! I saw a lot of butterflies this weekend, more than I usually see. Maybe I was just more cognizant of my surroundings, or maybe it was you letting me know that you were there....either way it made me smile each time that I saw one. I let the dogs out on Monday morning and I was sitting on the deck waiting for them to go to the bathroom when all of a sudden two monarchs came out of nowhere and flew right across my face. Little things like that make me so happy, I always think that each butterfly is you.   

Well I am getting ready to call it a day, I have a lot more to catch you up on! Talk to you soon, love and miss you so much...

P.S. Mom and Blair made it home safely from ITALY!!

Crazy in Italy, glad they made it home alive!