Hi!! How are you today?
I am having a hard time this week dad, a really hard time. On Thursday it will be exactly one year from the day I last gave you a hug and kiss goodbye. I hate that I missed out on seeing you that Friday, Saturday, or Sunday morning. I remember that Thursday evening so perfectly. You had made spaghetti and I stopped in for a quick minute to grab something and say hello before heading home after work. I didn’t want to get stuck in traffic but you made me wait until the spaghetti was cooked so I could take Kel some, you took your time making that darn spaghetti too! You were doing it to irritate me but we laughed about it as usual, "come onnnnnn dad, hurry up!!! I am trying to get out of here, I want to go to the gym early tonight!!" Then you replied with, "it's almost done! I want you to take it home to Kel!" (I teased you about how you thought Kel was more important than me because you made HIM a take home dinner and not me!) An hour later you finally loaded me up a container. I still have that container, I swear I will hurt anyone who takes it...It is that container with the green top. I check the Tupperware cabinet every night after dinner to make sure that no one has touched it, I am so weird, I know. I have thought about putting it in your box that I have for you in my closet, but I thought it would be pointless to have a box inside of another box, so I am taking a risk by keeping it in the cabinet. Like I said, I dare someone to move it....
Anyway, as I was saying, this has been a rough week for me, I broke down in the kitchen on Sunday morning. I am so fortunate to have Kel there to wipe my tears, I was a mess. It started off with me not being able to sleep, so I woke up at 5:30am and went for a ten mile run, I was fine until I got in the car and one of your songs came on the ipod. I drove over to Giant to pick up some stuff to cook for breakfast and I ended up sitting in the parking lot balling my eyes out. I don't know if it was the somber and desolate early morning or what, but usually I am much better at controlling my emotions in public places. Finally I was able to compose myself enough to walk into Giant and get the groceries. I got home and started cooking and teared up because it reminded me of all the times you would cook breakfast for us on the weekends. Shaken up I went ahead and cracked the eggs for the omelets, five eggs into the cracking, I drop a full egg shell and all of its pieces into the mix. Yup, you guessed it, I lost it. After composing myself for the umpteenth time that morning I proceeded with the omelet making and poured the mixture onto the flat griddler we have. Guess what happened? The mixture egg spewed all over the sides making a huge mess and did not leave enough eggs on the griddle to make my omelets. And to top it off, you know how fussy I am about raw egg and the possibility of getting salmonella poisoning...So yup, you guessed it again, I lost it. This time I just busted out in big wet tears. The kind that smears all the makeup down your face, cute right? Kel came into the kitchen all sorts of confused, insuring me that it was no big deal, we can crack some more eggs for the omelets...Usually I would not get so upset and distraught over something as simple as this, but I guess it was the combination of missing you terribly and screwing up breakfast. FML. So that has been the start of my week big daddy, pretty pathetic on my part, huh? I know you would tell me not to cry if you were here.
What else do I have for ya today??Hmm...I miss mom and Blair a lot, they are still in Italy. I feel really alone without them here, it is a strange feeling not to have them just a phone call away. I miss texting Blair all day, every day. They come home on Thursday and I get to pick them up for the airport, I will be happy to have them home!! I went to the house yesterday for lunch to see pappy and I saw Blair had left a "to do" list for Justin taped up on her bathroom mirror. He is such a good kid, he is coming to clean the house before they get home, you know Queen Tut and Princess Pouvee won't want to lift a finger when they get home (kidding!!) (Well kinda...) I am just teasing, the real reason Blair left him a note is because his Dad is coming down on Friday to stay at the house for Rolling Thunder. I am excited, Mike is such an awesome guy, you would really like him, he is a lot like you. I am going to get too upset if I start thinking about Rolling Thunder and Harley Davidson's.... I will save those stories for another day. Gosh dad, we have so many memories and I have so many stories about you, I feel like everything I talk about, I am somehow able to tie you into it. I can't tell you how often I bring you into a conversation, it is at least a few times every day. I feel like all my friends have a good idea about how awesome you are, without ever being blessed with the opportunity to meet you. There is so much that I wish you were here for, so much...I miss you.
It is almost time for me to call it a day, dad. I am hoping to beat traffic like I did yesterday! I love and miss you more every day.
"Cause when I look to the sky
something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost
something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here"
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