On Sunday We Had An Ostrich Filet, Yes...A Filet Of OSTERICH!

"Hey it looks like you!"
Hahaha I know that is what you would say to
Blair or I if we showed you the picture!!

Hey there! It has been a week since I last wrote to you, you know I have been doing more talking than writing to you this past week though. I think it is because the year mark is coming up and I am feeling more empty and lost than usual. They say that there are 5 stages of grief/coping with loss and those stages compile a "model" that is referred to as the Kubler-Ross Model. Below are the stages;Stage 1: Denial-Stage 2: Anger-Stage 3: Bargaining-Stage 4: Depression-Stage 5: Acceptance.

For months on end I have been trying to figure out what stage I am currently in, I don’t really fit into any of those stages, nor do I believe that I have officially experienced the feelings that I am "supposed to" feel in any of those stages. I have a weird feeling that I can't describe, yeah I am angry (not at you, but the situation) and yeah I am depressed, but mostly I just feel lost and I am in a constant search for a connection to/with you. What I mean by that is that I am always looking for ways to feel closer to you, ways to make me feel as though you are still just a phone call away. A picture, a card, letter, magazine, drawing, etc...something of yours that I have not seen or read yet, a song that you would like, a song with lyrics that remind me of you, a new song put out by one of your favorite bands. Those are the things I look for everyday. It is hard for me to explain but I can't tell you how many times I have gone into the house and just searched the basement for something of yours that no one has found yet. Or how many times I have googled your name to find something about you that I never knew. I go up into your closet, search through your coat pockets, go through your toolbox, etc...it hurts when I find nothing new, but I still continue to do it. It is really an odd feeling and something I am sure some people might find very strange, but oh well, I think it helps me somehow. One day I am waiting to find something totally awesome and new. Hint, hint-nudge, nudge (if you really want to perk up my mood, point me in the direction where I will find something of yours that I have never seen before!!)

Anyways, enough sad stuff. I know it breaks your heart to see me sad....So moving right along...A lot has been going on this past week and to be quite honest I have been pretty down and not in the mood to write. I get severe writers block when I am not in a happy mood. Today, I will try to start back up with your letters/notes because I feel bad when I go so long without writing to you.

I am trying to remember all the items I put on my mental list of things to tell you about, still have that writers block, ugh! OH! I remember now...You would be proud of my latest "accomplishments", as you know, I bought a set of golf clubs, a really nice set (they are blue like yours)! I went to the driving range on Monday and guess what!? I did not do as terrible as I thought I would, imagine that! I whiffed a few times, but whatever...I whiffed with style...:) The driving range I went to was on base at Quantico, it was pretty nice, however it was filled with gofers! Did you know that gofers actually live on golf courses? I honestly thought that only happened in the movie Caddy Shack. WRONG! I felt bad for the little guys, what if they get nailed by a golf ball going down range at 80mph? Don't even laugh (I know you are). I think I spent a good 20 minutes of my time there making sure that in case a little gofer was hit, I was able to go rescue it!

In addition to my new golfing and gofer watching hobby, I have also been trying to be more adventurous with MEAT. A new butcher shop has opened up by the house down in Stafford, it is so close we could throw a rock at it if all the trees weren’t in the way. You know men and their meat, Kel has been there a few times a week since they have opened and he has cooked some pretty choice pieces of meat. On Sunday we had an Ostrich filet, yes...a filet of OSTERICH! It was marinated for a few days in Worestshire(sp?) and onions, AMAZING! Last night we had a few people over and cooked a wide variety of meats....We had a rack of wild boar ribs, ny strip, lamb, and I had a piece of filet wrapped in apple smoked bacon. We def. got our iron  last night. It was a great dinner with great people, yum-yum! Our friend Bill came over with his two boys, they are 9 and 11 I believe. One had a huge black and blue eye and when I asked him how he got it he said, "my brother has a hard head" HAHAHAHA I totally thought of you, I can totally see you saying something along those lines.

Let's see...what else has been going on lately...I have some news that I really want to tell you, but I am going to write it in your book...I don't want to put anyone else's personal business on the internet, just in case someone stumbles across it. SO CHECK YOUR BOOK!

Well dad, I am going to get back to work, I will talk to you soon. I love and miss you.

xoxox,

Gofer Hunter & Golf Superstar 

OH P.S. Mom and Blair are leaving on their trip today. They are going to Italy!! I am super excited for them, they are going to have a great time. I just worry about them on that long flight, watch over them as they fly out there!!



What did I tell ya? Men and their meats!