October Weather!

Hey there! Happy October, I cannot believe that we are about to pass another birthday of yours without you here. The weather is starting to get colder and the leaves are beginning to change. Mom and I were talking last night as we were walking all three dogs…she told me about how you too loved this time of year, especially when Blair and I were little.  I like hearing stories about you that I have never heard before, I feel some sort of connection, like you are still here or something. It is such an odd feeling because it makes me happy and so sad at the same time, it makes me miss you and I start to think about all the things I will never get to share with you, but then I remember all the great times I did get the opportunity to share with you. I don’t know, I am just all over the map lately in regards to my emotions. I was telling mom last night that I remember certain things so vividly, a lot of things actually…but I remember this time of year and how your cheeks felt when you came in from letting the dogs out or taking the trash out. You would always go “Brrrrrr! It is chilly out there!” and I remember one time I grabbed your cheeks and said “let me feel!” I don’t remember what year it was, but I remember exactly how your cheeks felt, how weird huh!?I wish you were here so I could grab your cheeks again! Haha.

I wanted to show you some pictures of your fish tank, I was so happy when I went down to Skip’s house and saw it. I hadn’t seen it since they took it down there.  I was so impressed with how well he has kept the tank. Also, I was absolutely ecstatic that the majority of your fish, coral and other things were alive. You would be so happy with it.

Love and miss you so much dad.

Ash

More pictures for you!

Our stud-muffin,  Tuff! 

Our Princess, Tootsie! (She is all puffed up and
ready to attack in this photo!)

Both of our babies! Pooped after their walk. Dad, you would LOVE them. 

Kelly and I at a wedding in PA.  I am so proud of him!!! 

I'm tired of latte liberals and journalists

Pam S. sent me this and I immediately thought of you...It is so true. I love it and I know you will too... 

I'm 63 and I'm Tired"

by Robert A. Hall

I'm 63. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked hard since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired.

  

I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it.

I'm tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes." Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I'm willing to help. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the left-wing Congress-critters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them with their own money.

I'm tired of being told how bad America is by left-wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood Entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the economy of Zimbabwe , the freedom of the press of China , the crime and violence of Mexico , the tolerance for Christian people of Iran , and the freedom of speech of Venezuela ....

I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to.

I'm tired of being told that "race doesn't matter" in the post-racial world of Obama, when it's all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of U.S. Senators from Illinois.

I think it's very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less arrogantly of an all-knowing government. Like Bill Cosby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's fabulous and everything he says makes sense! Why doesn't someone convince HIM to run!

I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and mandrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America , while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance.

I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore's, and if you're greener than Gore, you're green enough.

I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don't think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I #@*# sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I'm tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana.

I'm tired of illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially the ones who aren't working, but are living on welfare or crime. What's next? Calling drug dealers, "Undocumented Pharmacists"? And, no, I'm not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic, and it's been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion. I'm willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person, who can speak English, doesn't have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military.... Those are the citizens we need.

I'm tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military. They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people than themselves. Do bad things happen in war? You bet.. Do our troops sometimes misbehave? Sure. Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years and still are? Not even close. So here's the deal. I'll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims, who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian. Then we'll compare notes. British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear.

I'm tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption. Read the papers; bums are bipartisan. And I'm tired of people telling me we need bipartisanship. I live in Illinois , where the " Illinois Combine" of Democrats has worked to loot the public for years. Not to mention the tax cheats in Obama's cabinet.

I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.

Speaking of poor, I'm tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn't have that in 1970, but we didn't know we were "poor." The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.

I'm real tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems.

Yes, I'm tired. But I'm also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making. I'm just sorry for my granddaughter.

Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts State Senate.

Fall reminds me of you

Hey there! How are you daddy?! I know it has been a while since I have wrote last. However, don't think that means I don't think about you all day, every day. You are still always on my mind with whatever I do. I am currently up in Philadelphia for a class and I really wish I could pick up the phone and call you. I thought about that earlier today, I miss the days when I would call and talk your ear off while I was battling the 95 traffic home. September is here and that means summer is winding  down and the fall of the year is knocking at the door. Fall reminds me of you, mainly because of the weather and football season. I know how much you enjoyed the break from the humidity and the colors of the fall leaves. Not only that, but I know how much you loved to sit down and watch a good football game. I can honestly say I have little interest in watching a Skins game anymore. It just is not the same without you to walk me through every play that they make. I started working at Bobby McKeys again and every Saturday from September to December is football jersey night. I wore my Clinton Portis jersey into work a couple weekends ago only to find out later that evening that he is no longer a member of the team. FML. I have 3 Portis jerseys, go figure. Oh and get this, the following Saturday (which would be last Saturday) I went to a buy a new one and I purchased a McNabb jersey, come to find out....he is now a Viking. No wonder the jersey was on sale... If you were here, I would have known what jersey to wear/not wear. I know you were looking down and laughing at me when I was in line buying the McNabb jersey! As you always said, deeedley-dee, Ash! 


I am sitting in my hotel room and I feel super lonely without the pups here with me. I am so attached to those little guys, they are my saving grace while Kelly is overseas. They keep me company and whenever I get upset, it is like they know because they always run up to me and lick my tears away. I won't get into the whole Kelly being away thing because I will get too upset. We miss each other so much and it honestly sucks, I hope that we never have to go through something like this again. UGH. It does give me comfort knowing that he will be coming home, we just have to be patient and make the best out of the time apart and the whole situation (there is my optimism for the day, lol...) We are counting the days until he can come home. I am planning a trip out there for the Christmas/New Years time frame, so I am hoping the time until then will fly by....and of course I hope that the rest of the time he is out there will fly by too.   


Also, I just wanted to let you know that I paid off the last of my college loans today. I want to say thank you to both you and mom. I really appreciate all the help you guys gave me along the way. I could not have done it without the help of you both. It is good feeling to have something so important paid off. So thank you and mom for all of your help!! I am very lucky to have 2 amazing parents. I love you both very much. 


Well daddy, I am going to get ready for bed. Know that I miss you so much and I wish you were here to help me through this hard time...but I know you are up there helping me in the best way that you can.  I am going to attach some updated photos for you to look at. It has been a while since you have seen any new pics! 


Love and miss you more with each passing day, 
Big

My first tattoo, on my right wrist.
It is my DaddyJ butterfly!

I got another one..."Live for today"
on my left wrist. A little bit of inspiration
for the difficult days.

Your two girls out in the mountains, HIKING!

Your two black grandbabies! 

Kel and I before he left :)

Shake Shake Earthquake

Hey there Dad!

How are you today? I hope that all is still intact up there, especially after that earthquake! HAHA can you believe that we had an Earthquake on the east coast? I did not think that was possible! I was sitting at my desk yesterday afternoon and I honestly thought our building was getting bombed, the first thing I did was duck by my filing cabinet, then once I realized that everyone else was running out, I followed. It was a big mess! Our building was evacuated and we were sent home for the day. I think everyone was a little over the top but that is expected. Haha you know why… But anyway, the last earthquake in VA was back in 1897 and that one was about 5.8 on the Richter scale… I think yesterday’s earthquake was 5.9. Oh snap we are making history!

In other news….

1.       I started to work at Bobby’s this weekend, I missed that place a lot. It has changed a bit but it is still a great part-time job. Some of my old friends are there and the money is still good. I am hoping to save up enough money within the next two years so I can get the heck out of VA.

2.       I have been taking the dogs on daily walks and they seem to really enjoy it. The weather is getting cooler and I take them around 7PM each night. We walk for about half an hour and by that time their little legs are all tuckered out. I look forward to walking with them, it gives me some time to clear my head and get some fresh air. You would make fun of me because I drive them to the neighborhood across the street from mine to go for their walk…it is a little nicer and doesn’t get as dark at night over there. I am just trying to keep us safe! LOL.

3.       I am starting my Masters program for real this time. I just submitted my TA paperwork through work and should be good to start on October 14^th. I already have 9 credits completed, just 27 more to go and I will have my Masters degree in Procurement and Acquisition Management. 27 credits equates to 9 classes…sounds pretty attainable. I should be able to complete it before Kelly comes home. That is my goal anyway. We will see!

Dad, I apologize but I have been struggling with writing lately. I think recently my life has just been relatively uneventful, yet filled with emotion. So the words just don’t seem to flow like they usually do. I have so much on my mind and yet I can’t find the words to tell you about it. I think it’s because I just simply don’t know where to begin. These last two weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me, I am up and down, happy and sad all at the same time. I am hoping that my emotions will calm down soon and I will be able to write to you as much as I used to. I like writing to you on a daily basis and I miss doing so. I love and miss you very much.

Old School!

Blair found these, I love them! Thought I would share. <3

My Butterfly

None of us will ever forget this day, yet we go forward to defend freedom and all that is good and just in our world.

I thought I would post this on your page, since I know you like this speech too. I feel the need to represent America whenever possible. Love you!

Good evening.

Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, our very freedom came under attack in a series of deliberate and deadly terrorist acts.

The victims were in airplanes or in their offices -- secretaries, businessmen and women, military and federal workers. Moms and dads. Friends and neighbors.

Thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil, despicable acts of terror.

The pictures of airplanes flying into buildings, fires burning, huge structures collapsing, have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness and a quiet, unyielding anger.

These acts of mass murder were intended to frighten our nation into chaos and retreat. But they have failed. Our country is strong. A great people has been moved to defend a great nation.

Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve.

America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining.

Today, our nation saw evil, the very worst of human nature, and we responded with the best of America, with the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring for strangers and neighbors who came to give blood and help in any way they could.

Immediately following the first attack, I implemented our government's emergency response plans. Our military is powerful, and it's prepared. Our emergency teams are working in New York City and Washington, D.C., to help with local rescue efforts.

Our first priority is to get help to those who have been injured and to take every precaution to protect our citizens at home and around the world from further attacks.

The functions of our government continue without interruption. Federal agencies in Washington which had to be evacuated today are reopening for essential personnel tonight and will be open for business tomorrow.

Our financial institutions remain strong, and the American economy will be open for business as well.

The search is underway for those who are behind these evil acts. I've directed the full resources for our intelligence and law enforcement communities to find those responsible and bring them to justice. We will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them.

I appreciate so very much the members of Congress who have joined me in strongly condemning these attacks. And on behalf of the American people, I thank the many world leaders who have called to offer their condolences and assistance.

America and our friends and allies join with all those who want peace and security in the world and we stand together to win the war against terrorism.

Tonight I ask for your prayers for all those who grieve, for the children whose worlds have been shattered, for all whose sense of safety and security has been threatened. And I pray they will be comforted by a power greater than any of us spoken through the ages in Psalm 23: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me."

This is a day when all Americans from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. America has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time.

Thank you. Good night and God bless America.



Rambles

Hey there dad! How are you!? I hope you are enjoying this cooler weather we have been having, I never thought I would say this, but I am ready for fall. I love summer, but my favorite attire is a pair of shorts and a hoodie. I am struggling to stay awake today so I thought I would write to you and hope that by doing so, I would wake up a little bit! Blair came down last night for a sleepover, she has been a really big help with everything I am going through right now. She and Justin both have been really good to me, they stayed down at my place over this past weekend and kept me company. It has been a week since Kel has left for Japan and I miss him so much, I just have to focus on staying busy and hopefully the time will fly. I start working at Bobby McKeys this weekend and I am super excited about that. As you know, I LOVE working there. I am so excited to get back there, woo!

Last weekend was tough without Kel here to do stuff with, but as I mentioned, Blair and Justin did a good job with keeping me company. On Friday night, they came down and cooked me dinner (stir-fry, just the way you used to cook it!), we watched a movie and passed out super early. We debated on whether or not we should go get tattoos, but decided not to. Hahaha. On Saturday I took the pups up to your place and went kayaking with Justin, Jerry and Mom. Blair was working so she could not go…We kayaked for a good couple of miles then came back and had some spicy Thai food at that place by the house. Afterwards mom and I took the pups on a walk around the neighborhood and then Blair, Justin and I went on home. Again, it was an early night for all of us, why.......? Because Blair and Justin actually convinced me to go hiking with them on Sunday morning! I was glad they made me go….it was my first hike! It was a great time on the way up to our destination, however hiking back was a little much for me, lol. The bugs, prickle bushes, wild animals, spiders, and rocks were all up in the way of our path. We hiked nine miles and by the time we made it back to the car, my left foot and knees felt like they were going to fall off. All in all it was a lot of fun though! I will post some pictures as soon as I get them from Justin.

Lets see….what else….

Monday night was a sucky night, it was raining and thundering, I laid in bed for about 3 hours after work then finally made myself get up and clean Kelly and my bathroom. FUN NIGHT! Sike! Last night I had Blair come down and we took the dogs on a long walk and went dog toy shopping at Petsmart. I spoil those pups. They have been my saving grace through all of this, those two little dogs give us so much happiness and I am glad that they are there when I get home from work, just as happy as can be. Guess what Tuff has started doing?! He has started smiling when he gets super excited or happy, it is so funny to watch him do it, it puts the biggest smile on my face!! I will have to show you some pictures if I can ever snap one while he is doing it.

OH! This is totally on a new subject, but last night Blair and I sat down and watched Bush’s post 9-11 speech on You-Tube. I don’t know why but there is something about that speech that gives me goose bumps. I think it is something that should be broadcasted on a daily basis, just so this country doesn’t forget. It just gives me such a patriotic feeling and makes me super proud of Kel, Justin and all of our friends that fight for our country. As you know, the military is something I have the utmost respect for and the fact that there are people out there that do not feel the same way just boggles my mind. I know you are proud of the guys your girls are with. Kelly and Justin are just so great.

Well dad, I am going to get back to work. I will talk to you soon, I love and miss you so much!!

"my dad would be proud of me today"

Hey there dad. I know it has been a while since I last wrote, a lot has been going on and I just have not had the opportunity to sit down and type you up a note. I have a few that I have written you over the past couple of weeks but I am finally getting the chance to sit down and talk to you now. 

Let me think, where did I last leave off.... I was getting ready to go to OBX when I last talked to you! It was a great trip, a lot of memories of you and the family while we were down there, but it was still a blast, I forgot how much I love that place. This year I stayed in Salvo, the complete opposite end of the island in which we are used to staying in. It was super nice down there, even more secluded than Corolla. Kel really enjoyed it down there as well....he said he would for sure want to take another trip down there. After spending the week down in OBX we went up to PA to visit with Kelly's family and so he could say his goodbyes. Mom came up with us on Friday and flew back on Sunday, I was happy that she decided to come up there with us, especially for Kelly's last trip for the next two years.

Today was the day, I have tried not to mention it to you in past posts, probably because I have tried to avoid it. Actually you know what...I am going to write to you in my notebook about this, I don't want to put too much of my business out on the internet....so check the book for updates on this certain situation :)

So many things have been going on this summer and it sure has flown by, I hope that time will continue to fly by.....and slow down in a couple of years. Hahaha wishful thinking, but whatever! You always used to tell me that time flies way too fast and one day I will ask myself where the last ten/twenty years have gone. I still to this day disagree with you dad...I will be young forever! Haha

I am trying to think what else to tell you, there'd has been many moments within the past few weeks that I have said to Kelly...."my dad would be proud of me today!" I think the main one was me helping Kelly epoxy the garage floor! It looks so much nicer, I really had no idea what the purpose of this was, but I am so glad that I did it! Although, I enjoyed doing it....I think Kelly tricked me into helping, lol. He told me that if I helped him, I would get to bedazzle the floor....and well....you know me when it comes to bedazzling. So of course I jumped on the opportunity. What kel failed to mention was the fact that if I agreed to help bedazzle, I would have to help with all of the other awful aspects of this task. Such as, cleaning out all the junk from the garage...sweeping all the bugs and nasty stuff  out of the garage, hosing it down, drying it, painting it....thennnnn I got to bedazzle. Whew! It was hard work but totally worth it! Proud moment for me! Haha ohhh the little things in life. 

Well daddy, we will catch up later! I love and miss you so much. I could really use you here right now. Keep me sane during these next few months, I need you.

The impossible is possible tonight

I am becomming a huge fan of Pandora lately...simply because one of the playlists I have plays all of the songs we used to jam to on the way to soccer.  Coincidence? Or are you up there controlling it? Haha, that would be pretty awesome if you were.

Anyway, I heard 5 songs this morning in a row...all of them reminded me of being in the Four Runner and you taking me to practice/game/tournament/etcs.... Man, the music back during the soccer days was awesome!

They came on in this order this morning (on Pandora)

1. Marcy's Playground-Sex&Candy
2. Smashing Pumpkins-Tonight Tonight
3. Cake-Never There
4. Soundgarden-Black Hole Sun
5. Better Than Ezra-Good

My favorite out of that list has to be the Smashing Pumpkins song....

"Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feelBelieve, believe in me, believe
That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain
We're not the same, we're different tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight
And you know you're never sure
But you're sure you could be right
If you held yourself up to the light
And the embers never fade in your city by the lake
The place where you were born
Believe, believe in me, believe
In the resolute urgency of now
And if you believe there's not a chance tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight
We'll crucify the insincere tonight
We'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight
We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight"

Hope you are up there jammin.

Love and miss you Dad

I wear you with me everyday

Hey dad! How are you today? It is hot out there so I hope you are somewhere on a beach! I am getting ready to go to the Outer Banks on Saturday, I am super excited, but at the same time I am a little apprehensive about going down there. That place has a lot of great memories with you in them. It is going to be rough to drive down past the Currituck Club and see the “Teet” (Harris Teeter….hahaha remember that nickname?!) We are staying in Salvo, I am not sure where that is in relation to Corolla, but regardless, being in the OBX and driving on that beach road into the OBX is going to bring back so many memories. Good ones…so many good ones.  I miss those days and I think about them quite often actually. I remember how excited we all used to get when it was time to go to the OBX, it was something we all looked forward to. I miss the group of family and friends that used to come down with us, I miss the huge dinners you used to cook everyone, I miss the karaoke bar we used to go to (Sundogs…where I always got my five minutes of fame!), I miss playing all the goofy games in our pool with a beer in hand…all those memories are ones that I will always remember to a tee. I still say the OBX is my favorite place in the world. I have been so many great places lately, but you know what? I have to say that OBX is my favorite, probably because it has you in the memories. Anyway, sorry for going on an OBX tangent. I tend to do that with everyone that asks me about the OBX. Ha, I am sure Kel has heard all my fun stories 100 times. This is going to be his first adventure to an East Coast beach, he is in for a good time. We are going down with a good buddy of ours, Schultz… and about 8 other people. Kel is a surfer, so I think I am going to have to show off some of my surfing skills. HAHA oh my gosh… do you remember all the surfing adventures and the extra large board...? How could you forget, right?  HAHAHA I just laughed out loud thinking about it. Em, Gabby and I were so ridiculous, walking the beaches with our surf boards, just for show. Then one year we finally got lessons (thanks to P & P), I guess they were tired of seeing us bust our ass on the waves. Like I said above, so many good memories. Soooooo this Saturday, we will be heading down…probably for one last hoorah, I don’t think I will go back after this time..Mom doesn’t plan on ever going back and I doubt Blair wants to go back either. It is just too hard and full of too many memories for Mom to handle. I will be thinking of you, as usual.

Moving on, enough OBX reminiscing.

I was cleaning last night and listening to Pandora radio (in case you don’t know what Pandora is, it is a radio app on my iPhone), I was listening to my rock, classic rock & 80’s hair bands stations. Whenever a song came on that I knew you would like I wrote it down on a piece of paper. I am weird sometimes, lol, but I thought it was necessary to document every song that came on that reminded me of something you would jam to. Remember last May when I made you all those CD’s with your favorite music? Well I decided to make you another “Daddy J Mix” CD. Wanna know what was on it??? I am going to have to pluck my memory because I don’t have the sheet I wrote all the songs down on with me. I may add some more I think you would like on the list…no repeats from Mix #1, 2, &3 though, promise!  

Blinded by the Light-Manfred Mann’s Earth Band

Pride and Joy-Stevie Ray Vaughn

I Remember You-Skid Row

Dirty Deeds-ACDC

Simple Man – Lynyrd Skinner

I Wanna Rock – Twisted Sister

You Don’t Know How it Feels – Tom Petty

All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix

Look At Little Sister-Stevie Ray Vaughan

War Pigs-Black Sabbath

All Right Now-Free

Smells Like Teen Spirit-Nirvana

Don’t Fear The Reaper-The Blue Oyster Cult

Separate Ways-Journey

Free Ride-The Edgar Winter Group

Slow Ride-Foghat

I think that is a pretty awesome mix if I do say so myself! You would approve! If you were here I would put it on a CD for you and then call you everyday to check and see if you rocked out to it. Hahaha remember when I did that for two weeks in a row last time I made you the CDs? I called you every day for two weeks and asked if you had listened to them yet, for TWO WEEKS I got the same response, “nope, not yet!” I remember finally calling you and getting the “yes they were great” response. I was so happy that you finally listened to the darn things!

Well dad, I will catch up with you later, I have some business to handle! I love you!!! Miss you much.

Oh, PS. I have a new necklace that I wear everyday now. Allison gave it to me, it is a heart with a picture of you in it. She gave it to me a while ago but I finally put it on a chain, I love it. I wear you with me everyday =)

Love and miss you more each day.

Hey there! I know it has been a while since I last wrote, I have drawn you a few pictures and notes, but lately I have just been mentally exhausted and unable to write. I feel guilty each day that passes and I don’t open your blog, some days slip right by me and other days I have all the time in the world but don’t have the emotional strength to write to you.  I know you aren’t holding it against me, but you know me… I always worry about everything. HA. A lot has been going on lately, so I doubt I will be able to catch you up on it all today, but in the near future I am going to have a lot more time on my hands, so don’t worry I will catch you up. Love and miss you more each day.

Goofy!

Beach Bum!

My Butterfly

Hot summer sun and cloudless blue sky

I sit and wish you were somewhere nearby

What I would give to be able to ring your phone

Or to have you here to witness my life's next milestone

Things I hope Dad is doing today

Today is such a beautiful day outside, the air is nice and cool and the sky is bright blue. I hope that wherever you are, all days are just like this one. I was thinking about you a lot this morning and I made a list of all the things I hope you are doing, kind of weird I know, however, making the list made me smile. I hand-wrote it so I can put it in your book, so typing it seems sort of silly, but I am going to do it anyway...

Things I hope Dad is doing today-

1. Enjoying the weather

2. Spending the day free of pain

3. Playing golf on the most amazing course

4. Riding his Harley on an open road

5. Putting his butt on the sand and feet in the ocean

6. Having an ice cold Heineken

7. Eating a huge filet mignon, scallops and crab cakes

8. Planning a trip to Greece

9. Blasting Metallica and Creed while riding in his Porsche

10. Snorkeling in some amazing reef

As I made that list it was so weird for me to comprehend the fact that you are actually gone, it choked me up a few times and it gave me knots in my stomach. I don’t know why I still feel that you are still here. I can't wrap my brain around the fact that you will never again grace us with your presence. It is really hard to think about it that way, perhaps that is why I haven’t let myself think that you are gone for good. I know I tell you this all the time but I would give anything just to have you back. Our family hasn’t been the same, nor will it ever be the same, but we have to move forward and continue on with you in our heart and thoughts

The plans I make still have you in them

Hey!! How are you, I have struggled with writing this week, I feel like there is so much I have to tell you but I struggle because all of it would have been so much better if you here to share those fun times with me. Father's day was rough, I was happy for Kelly because he was able to spend the day with his dad, but it killed me to not be able to spend the day with mine. It hurts to see all of the father's day cards, commercials, internet ads, etc... so I am very thankful that the holiday is over.

This past weekend we went up to Pittsburgh for a wedding at Nemacolin Woodlands Resort in Farmville, PA. Talk about an extravagant wedding, it was beautiful and the location was amazing. We pulled up and there were 15 Porsches outside of the hotel, of course I thought of you. There must have been a convention or something because there is no way 15 Porsches would just be parked in front of this hotel. I will say, I didn’t like any of them as much as I liked yours...=) The location had a really great golf course and a ton of other really cool things to do and see. I don’t know how many more weddings I can handle though, the father-daughter dances kill it for me, they always choke me up and it hurts to know that I will never have the opportunity to have a father-daughter dance.

Sunday we came home, I drove separate with the dogs because Kelly and his dad stayed in PA a little while longer, good thing they did because I got stuck in a horrendous traffic jam (that is a story for another day! It is a good one too, you would be proud of me!). Kelly's dad has been with us since Sunday, he came down to spend part of the week with Kel, we had a really great few days and I know Kel enjoyed having his dad down. Monday night we went to Capital Alehouse in downtown Fredericksburg and had a blast, they have something like 400 different kinds of beers, I remember sitting there while we were all eating and thinking to myself how much I wish I could bring you to this place. I think that things like that are what makes some days really hard, always wanting you around and realizing that I can't have you there is like a slap in the face. I have been struggling lately with wrapping my brain around that thought...that you will never be able to join me in anything fun/awesome that I know you would enjoy. I know that you are there in spirit, but to be honest, some days that is just simply not good enough.

Tuesday, Kel and his dad went to have a meet and greet with the President, I know Obama sucks and trust me, they agree with us on that one, however it is still pretty cool they got to hang out with him for a bit. Tuesday night we had a surprise BBQ for Kel's dad. A bunch of our friends came over and we grilled out, the boys smoked some cigars and drank some beers...I made all the sides (I told you I am getting better at cooking, thank you for that!!) So Tuesday night was a lot of fun also! Wednesday was family day at work and Kel and his dad decided to surprise me before Kelly's dad went back to PA. I thought that was really sweet and I was sad to see Dan leave, so were the pups!

I wish you could meet Dan and the rest of Kel's family, you would really like them and I know they would love you. You are brought up in many of the conversations I have with them, somehow I always manage to bring you up. I think it was because you were such a huge part of my life and were so involved in it, it is hard not to include you in conversations. Ugh.

I know this is lame and you would think I am being ridiculous, but like I have said many times before, I am always in search of something that brings me closer to you in some way, usually I search for music that I can relate to, but today I have looked for poems. Most of them I read are super cheesy and I know that you would laugh if I tried to read some of them to you, but there are a few good ones. This one was my favorite...

We thought of you today,

But that is nothing new.

We thought of you yesterday

And will tomorrow, too.

We think of you in silence

And make no outward show.

For what it meant to lose you

Only those who love you know.

Remembering you is easy,

We do it everyday.

It's the heartache of losing you

That will never go away.

Love and miss you dad, I can't finish writing today..

Wish You Were Here

Hey there daddy! Happy Friday!! I am working from home today and am getting ready to go to a farewell lunch for a friend of Kelly’s and then him and I are heading to PA for a wedding.  I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today, just like every other day! This weekend is probably now one of my least favorite weekends in the year…it is Father’s day on Sunday and I really don’t like that you are not here to celebrate…For the whole day I am exposed to people with their dad’s and to be honest, I get pretty jealous. I am not a jealous person but for some reason seeing other people with their dad makes me that way. Ugh. It sucks.

I know it is not your fault though, so I wont hold it against you…tehe.

Well, I need to get packing and get a shower… of course I wait until the last minute.  I am the queen of procrastination.

Love and miss you much, I will catch up with you soon.

Memory lane up in the headlights, it's got me reminiscing on them good times

Hey again!  I know that you dislike country, but I am obsessed with this song and I think you would like it to!! It makes me think of all the fun times in the Outer Banks. I think I have listened to it 6 times in a row today....

Jason Aldean-Dirt Road Anthem

Yeah, I'm chilling on a dirt road

Laid back swerving like I'm George Jones

Smoke rolling out the window

An ice cold beer sitting in the console

Memory lane up in the headlights

It's got me reminiscing on them good times

I'm turning off a real life drive and that's right

I'm hitting easy street on mud tires

Back in the day Potts farm was the place to go

Load the truck up, hit the dirt road

Jump the barbed wire, spread the word

Light the bonfire then call the girls

King in the can and the Marlboro man

Jack 'n' Jim were a few good men

Where you learned how to kiss and cuss, and fight too

Better watch out for the boys in blue

And all this small town he said, she said

Ain't it funny how rumors spread

Like I know something y'all don't know

Man, that talk is getting old

You better mind your business man, watch your mouth

Before I have to knock that loud mouth out

I'm tired of talking, man, y'all ain't listening

Them ol' dirt roads is what y'all missing

Yeah, I'm chilling on a dirt road

Laid back, swerving like I'm George Jones

Smoke rolling out the window

An ice cold beer sitting in the console

Memory lane up in the headlights

It's got me reminiscing on them good times

I'm turning off a real life drive and that's right

I'm hitting easy street on mud tires

I sit back and think about them good old days

The way we were raised in our southern ways

And we like cornbread and biscuits

And if it's broke 'round here, we fix it

I can take y'all where you need to go

Down to my hood, back in them woods

We do it different round here, that's right

But we sure do it good and we do it all night

So if you really want to know how it feels

To get off the road with trucks and four wheels

Jump on in and, man, tell your friends

We'll raise some hell where the black top ends

I'm chilling on a dirt road

Laid back, swerving like I'm George Jones

Smoke rolling out the window

An ice cold beer sitting in the console

Memory lane up in the headlights

It's got me reminiscing on them good times

I'm turning off a real life drive and that's right

I'm hitting easy street on mud tires, let's ride

Yeah, I'm chilling on a dirt road

Laid back, swerving like I'm George Jones

Smoke rolling out the window

An ice cold beer sitting in the console

Memory lane up in the headlights

It's got me reminiscing on them good times

I'm turning off a real life drive and that's right

I'm hitting easy street on mud tires, let's ride

One of our houses @ Currituck in OBX -- FAVORITE!

An ice cold beer sitting in the console

Memory lane up in the headlights

It's got me reminiscing on them good times

I sit back and think about them good old days